on e verge of cryin
Friday, May 20, 2005 | Friday, May 20, 2005 | 0 comments
burst to tears 2day.. cldnt take it anymore.. rc has completely..completely worn me out.. as in not physically.. but mentally... *haix.. sry nirma 4 leavin u all e wk.. sry... wellx.. got 'sarcastically' or in fact indirectly chided by __ and__.. sumhow i am really not connected to rc la..sumhow juz cannot enjoy myself.. not tt e cca has a prob.. it's cool.. but i realli realli feel tt i juz cannot stand being in this cca anymore.. juz cant enjoy myself..given a chance to quit.. i'll quit.. i'm veri happy 4 those hu enjoy their ccas.. including those in rc.. veri glad tt u all enjoy urselves.. i mean.. u all dun understand how it feels lyk every wk when it is nearing e cca day which u dun enjoy.. u dun understand how nervous and how 'dreadish' u feel.. *haix*.. but i noe 4 sure tt God definitely has a plan 4 me in this cca.. today has completely tore me apart.. when leonard sir told me tt i was to be next wk's chairman.. i cldnt feel anything anymore.. realli..as in ppl laugh at me i dun give a *peep* anymore.. as in when i embarrass myself.. i dun bother anymore.. i realli feel so numb........ how to go party tmr?????!!

then another thing.. blocked __ 4 one day .. cos realli din noe watta do..so asked ppl 4 help.. then ok lor.. i blocked __.. in e end e next day __ found out ..and __sae it was all a misunderstandin/.. tt one nvm.. e worse thing is he oso found out tt i blocked him.. i smsed him.. said srry oready.. haix.. then he started bein all cold and snappy...o man.. i'm realli realli sry ..din mean to block u.. i oso din noe things will come out to be tt bad.. 4give me can??

next thing.. reflected.. feel tt i'm gettin worse.. found out tt i luv to complain.. long story manx.. i feel so sad lorr.. actualli i dun usualli complain..but this yr..i found out tt ppl lyk to complain..abt everything under e sun.. then in order to u noe.. get accepted.. i started complainin.. tho i dun realli agree w wat i sae... then this became a habit.. a HaBIt!!! o man.. juz wanna slaughter myself sumhow.. and summore.. i feel i'm being too easily irritated sumtimes.. so ary peeps..when i'm stress i'm lyk tt..

ppl to thnk:
-ren jie ~ ~ thnk u so much gal.. 4 bein so patient w me.. thnx 4 toleratin me when i lose my patience w u.. thnx gal..and thnx4 speakin nicely to me even when i lose my patience w u..

-xiao wan~ ~ now..dun get all think-skinned.. haha.. thnx really 4 always standin by my side.. 4 bein realli loyal.. thnx dude.. and thnx 4 realli wantin to help me in my rc stuff..realli appreciate..

-dory~ ~ haha fishy.. thnx 4 listenin to my crap dude.. sumtimes i irritate u i noe.. but thnx 4 bein patient..

-sis~ ~ thnx dude.. 4 listenin to me..and givin in to my nonsense.. and 4 realli bein patient..=)

-mum and dad~ ~ thnx 4 ur prayers and support..thnx .. luv ya all..


`all my probs add up to 1 2 3
but i will ever hav thee

` e rain there'll always be e sunshine..
and maybe even *pooooof*..e rainbow!! =)